Quantum Theory is a lot like Gears of War, and I’m sure its inception came from a group of people trying to figure out a way to capitalize on Epic’s success with its third-person juggernaut. Unfortunately, much of what was taken from Gears either didn’t translate well or doesn’t have nearly the same level of polish. So essentially, this makes Quantum Theory a poor man’s Gears of War.

Not everything about this game is bad; some of the weapons, particularly the first you unlock, feel substantial and deadly. Unfortunately, the lack of creativity in Quantum’s arsenal of weapons leaves us with a group of weapons we’ve used in a myriad of other titles, only now they look different.

Practically every character in the game, including its anti-hero Syd, is taken directly from the all too commonly used ‘Badass Space Marine’ mold. Their bulky armor, exaggerated weapons and gruff personalities are things we’ve been forced to see in far too many games. And while that may fit well in a world that’s consistently at war, that archetype grew old and outdated long ago.

One of the worst things about Quantum Theory is its level design, which looks to have been designed by a brand new intern over a weekend. You enter an expansive area with several unrealistically placed waist-high walls and a group (or groups) of baddies who want you dead. Once you kill said bad guys you go through a hallway, staircase, whatever, and are greeted by another wide open expanse filled with, you guessed it: more bad guys. Just copy and paste this scenario for a few hours of gameplay, throw in the occasional boss, and you have yourself a very repetitive game.

This game shows promise fairly sporadically but it’s usually never realized or implemented well. The cover that melts into the ground only to pop up somewhere else is an interesting touch, but it’s marred by terrible timing. You’ll be surrounded by a relentless wave of enemies only to have your cover disintegrate before your eyes and see it pop up right next to the bad guys. Having some sort of warning before such a thing happens would’ve helped immensely so I would know I need to haul my armored ass over to a safer spot.

Speaking of the levels, the entire game took another page out of Gears’ book, and not in a good way. The entire game, with the exception of a couple areas, is just covered in brown. Seeing nothing but brown and grey destruction everywhere I looked got old fast and for a game that takes place entirely in a made up location, it’s a little bizarre some more color and creativity wasn’t invested into making sure the areas looked unique to the game and not simply cut from an environment in Gears of War.

If you’re a fan of story and character development I suggest you look somewhere else because there’s absolutely none of that here. Not even a little. There isn’t a single interesting or even mildly amusing character in the entire game. Syd says few words and his incredibly annoying loud-mouthed sidekick Nyx, who I constantly found myself hoping would meet a quick and preferably very painful end.

This is almost entirely an awful game. It was heavily inspired by a series I’ve mentioned far too many times in this review so I suppose the only positive thing about the experience is having spent a good amount of time with Gears of War, I didn’t have to learn the controls. If you’re a fan of shooters there are far better options out there, and if you like any semblance of story or plot don’t even consider picking up this game. If you have any respect for yourself but feel you must play this, at least wait until it’s under ten bucks and nestled safely at the bottom of our local bargain bin.