Have you ever walked into a movie theatre expecting a unique and interesting experience only to come out disappointed because the film didn't live up to it's potential? Evolva oozes with creativity and imagination but, like so many unique concepts before it, it fails to deliver or sustain a level of consistency and intrigue. The storyline is worthy of a science fiction film in itself, yet Evolva seems to settle for the old shoot 'em up formula. That's not to say that Evolva isn't a convincing gaming experience though, I mean heck, when I finished watching the science fiction thriller Pitch Black, I was fairly satisfied, but I certainly wasn't itching to watch the movie a second time either.

[Ascending from the bottom of the screen, the following passage appears]

It's post-World War III, a time where genetically engineered weaponry is no longer a dream, but a reality. What's also reality is the threat to man's survival brought about by a new and devastating parasite that has started to invade the habitable planets of the galaxy. Protected by armies of guardians, the parasite spreads its tentacles across the land and produces new eggs that are launched into space ready to invade another world. Which brings us to you, one of the Evolva, an elite army of commanders that patrol the galaxy protecting the planets from the parasite and its guardians. You have in your command four of the most powerful fighting machines ever created, the Genohunter warrior. The parasite has begun to infect yet another planet and it's up to you and your team of Genohunters to destroy the parasite and its guardians.

[The title 'Evolva' explodes onto the screen and slowly dissipates as a distant planet comes into focus. The camera slowly pans out as a space ship passes by the screen. The scene fades to black as we enter the friendly ship. A man (we'll call him Clarence) is seen communicating back to his commander (we'll call him Elvis)]

Clarence: Approaching the parasite infested planet sir, remind me again what's so special about these Genohunters?

Elvis: The Genohunter is the culmination of decades of genetic research Clarence, they are able to accomplish, in seconds, adaptation and mutations that once took scientists generations to achieve.

Clarence: Can you dumb it down a little sir?

Elvis: They can extract genetic material from any substance they absorb. They can manipulate their own DNA to mutate their physical form. If they sink their teeth into a creature that spits acid, they will gain that ability themselves. They constantly improve their abilities and with the number of creatures on that planet Clarence, they'll be a valuable ally.

Clarence: Who with the what now?

Elvis: Don't worry Clarence, it's really a simple process. In fact, you'll be controlling your team of four Genohuntes from the comfort of your ship. You'll control one at a time while the others defend themselves or perform other various tasks. If you wish to use one of their mutant abilities, just bring them up and click on the 'mutate' button, then you can choose which type of mutation you wish to perform. In fact Clarence, the controls in general are very simple and completely configurable. The game plays like a regular shoot 'em up, so if you've ever played Quake XXIV, I'm sure you'll have no problems.

Clarence: Damn skippy boss! We're beginning our descent now.

[The camera pulls back from Clarence, through the cockpit window and back into outer space. The ship is seen descending towards the planet as the screen fades to black. Moaning sounds are heard as the next scene flashes onto the screen. It's a gratuitous nude scene involving a couple on another space ship. (Hey, it's all good) The scene lasts a few moments before we're taken back to Clarence and the parasite infested planet]

Clarence: Was that you moaning boss?

Elvis: I don't know what that was Clarence, but let's get back to the task at hand. What is the status of the planet. Give me details damnit!

Clarence: Relax commander, the Genohunters have been dispatched. I'm not sure about this boss, this planet doesn't seem worth saving. It's quite the dull planet. I've seen better use of color on my black and white DVD player. The landscapes seem fairly organic, but too much grey, brown and other drab looking colors. There doesn't appear to be much intelligent life on this planet sir, including myself. The missions we're undertaking, while nicely varied, are extremely linear and uninspiring. It's hard boss, the missions that is. The first couple of missions were well paced, but the swarms of bugs just seem to be getting bigger and bigger. I was hoping this would be more than a shoot 'em up mission commander, I'm a little disappointed the missions aren't as unique as the concept itself.

Elvis: You're hard Clarence? I'm sorry, I'm having troubles hearing you. I think we're breaking up!

Clarence: That doesn't surprise me sir, the sound on this planet is extremely plain. My Genohunters make the occasional grunt, as do the creatures we come across, but the environments are about as lively as Mick Jagger. I still can't believe that guy's alive sir. That aside, I wish I had brought my walkman with me down here boss, there's very little music to be heard here either.

Elvis: Heard you loud and clear there Clarence. What about the Genohunters though, are you enjoying their unique abilities?

Clarence: You bet sir, I'm having a blast with these genetically engineered weapons. There are so many possible combinations of mutations, I'm sure I'll never grow tired of them. It's just too bad this planet sucks sir. There doesn't seem to be any imagination put into this hunk of land at all. I wish I could come home sir, but rest assured, we will save the galaxy whether we like it or not.

Elvis: Good man Clarence, bear with it. Say, just for the sake of conversation, what if we sent a second ship of Genohunters to the planet to battle the Genohunters under your control. Do you think that might be fun?

Clarence: I guess boss. I suppose we could have a deathmatch style battle with these lethal mutating machines, but it doesn't sound too appealing to me sir.

Elvis: I don't doubt you soldier. Anything else to report Clarence?

Clarence: I don't think so sir, except… I love you long time!

Elvis: Excuse me?

Clarence: Nothing sir.

[An epic struggle between the Genohunters and a swarm of insects continues as the screen fades to black. The ratings begin rolling as the musical score kicks in one last time]

[ 14/20 ] Graphics
[ 09/15 ] Sound
[ 24/30 ] Gameplay
[ 15/20 ] Fun Factor
[ 01/05 ] Multiplayer
[ 07/10 ] Overall Impression