From the creators of Natural Fawn Killers (folks, I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried), comes a high adrenalin, 1970s chix and muscle car racer entitled Hot Chix ‘n’ Gear Stix. I tell ya, if games were judged simply by the title they were given, Fiendish Games would have had a winner on their hands. Unfortunately for them, and the end user, the name Chix ‘n’ Stix is all it has going for it, as this game lacks any substance or atmosphere whatsoever.

Chix ‘n’ Stix is a racing game with rather limited options. For starters, there are only two modes of play for single player and no multiplayer to speak of. You can choose to either perform time trials or begin the championship mode, which consists of completing a series of three tracks. That’s right, there’s only a total of three tracks provided in Chix ‘n’ Stix. Similar to other racing games, you can’t advance to the next track without finishing first on the track preceding it. You can choose to race both forward or backward on each track, but that really adds very little variation to the game. You only need ride three tracks for so long before you can drive with your eyes closed. There are a total of six cars to choose from before racing, but the differences between them aren’t very noticeable, nor are they displayed in the game. Whether your vehicle handles well, accelerates well, or has the top speed of the bunch, is an unknown. In the championship mode, the only objective is to place first in the race in order to advance to the next track, there is no money gained by finishing in the top three, hence no upgrades or anything of that sort in Chix ‘n’ Stix.

So where do the Chix come into play you ask? Well, there are a total of six chix, each of which is assigned to a car. That’s right, each of these beautiful (in a Leisure Suit Larry kinda way) ladies will race against you in championship mode. Other than that, the ladies are never heard from, or seen of again. It’s really just a ploy to grab some attention, but since it got me to take a look at the game, I suppose it worked in the end.

The graphics in Chix ‘n’ Stix are powered by Direct3D and are relatively primitive. The tracks themselves seem uninspired. The environment and cars don’t have a great deal of detail in them at all. As for the Chix, well, refer back to the ‘Leisure Suit Larry kinda way’ comment from earlier. In terms of sound, I will say that the best component of this game is the music. Funky 70’s tunes play aloud as you race around the track and I dug it. The rest of the sound, that’s another story. The sound effects were pretty brutal at times. The engine sounds were fairly decent, but when you crash the car, there’s this really horrible metalic sound that seems so out of place. There’s really very little sound in the game, music aside.

The controls are fairly responsive, although the car doesn’t always turn as tightly as I would have liked. You can control the car using either the keyboard, gamepad or a wheel, and there’s really very few keys you’ll need to use. A simple up, down, left, right will get the job done in terms of accelerating, braking and turning. You can crash the car as frequently as you wish, since Chix ‘n’ Stix doesn’t feature any car damage either. It won’t affect how you drive and it certainly won’t slow you down.

Hot Chix ‘n’ Gear Stix is a budget title through and through. The problem is, even for a budget title, it lacks any kind of substance. With only three tracks available and no multiplayer features, the replay value is zilch. Even if you’re looking for a quick ride, there are better titles out there to quench your desire. The bottom line, while the Chix might be hot (once again, in that Leisure Suit Larry kinda way), this game, is NOT!